Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Pain is Bliss

What has become of joy
Of past anticipation and efforts
I am now but an unknown identity
Once gone will hardly made legacy

These efforts I made
Was it not for a dream?
And these dreams
Aren't they desires from heart?
I was a fool, blinded by unreason
Moving forward, but astray and lost

I continued henceforth
Unaware of the bane inside me
Slowly it was ticking, slowly it emerged
T'was too late when I realize
I already succumbed to it

The loss of meaning brought by failure
And the burden I lacked strength to carry
All these, it pained me
And within me I kept it
Alone, by my own

But such pain seeps through the vein
Choking me, killing me
I needed remedy, I needed to open myself
There it trickled, pain against pain
I was not the same anymore
I changed, for whatever benefit, I changed

It is a world of false impression
I fail to see beyond the soul's perception
Bliss is deemed the grand reward
Addiction in reality will be my undoing
____

Edit (December 2013):
I made this poem back when I was still under depression. While I still have a pessimistic view on life these days, I almost lost all hope back then. Everything was nothing to me.

As I read this once more, I realized how loneliness can be so detrimental to one's health.